I had a moment of clarity today. These moments are my favourite, and they seem so instantaneous and out of the blue. However, if I look back, in reality, they come after weeks or even months of mulling something over.
I have been thinking a lot about the idea of letting things go. I am referring to emotional things, from little everyday annoyances to bigger traumatic events. Like the way I am choosing a process of letting feelings surrounding an issue wash over me. How I acknowledge, unpack, and deal with the feelings in an appropriate manner. Then leaving the emotion out and letting it go, not repacking it back inside myself. Don’t misunderstand me here; this is not a one-time deal. Many issues will come up over and over, requiring attention many times. I find this to be a good way to deal with things and keep calm in the face of many difficulties.
Judging the moments
Then today, I was listening to an audiobook. The person talked about seeing this moment for exactly what it is. Nothing more or less than it actually is. I figured this is in line with what I have been practising, and it sounded good. Then lightning bolt! It suddenly occurred to me that when I am thinking about being in the moment, I am constantly judging what that moment is. Is it bad or good? How bad is it? What will be the possible outcomes? What can I do to fix these possible outcomes? And so on.
I noticed I was not being in the moment but rather what I imagined the moment to be. So often, by letting my thinking run away, I am making that moment so much more than it really is (usually in a negative way). If I was to be in the moment, most things would not be half as bad as they seem.
Of course, there are significant traumas in life that are truly horrific at that moment. Often help is needed immediately, but on the whole, life is not as bad as my runaway brain likes to tell me.