Welcome! I’m so glad you are here. Something about me that may be of interest is that I welcome having difficult conversations and accepting uncomfortable feelings that can be scary to express because we fear being judged or dismissed. I want you to know that you are important and deserve to say whatever you need to.
Where It All started
Much of that desire in me comes from my personal experiences. When I was six, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. After a long battle and being sent home to get her things in order, she ultimately lived another 30 years.
Over that 30 years, my mum was plagued by many physical impairments and health challenges. I became her carer again for the last ten years of her life. During that time, especially in the last year or two, I began to experience extreme burnout.
Looking back, my life involved a series of traumatic events from growing up with a ‘terminal’ parent and various other issues such as undiagnosed ADHD, vicarious medical trauma, and a lot of loss and grief. It was no surprise that I was experiencing burnout as I had never been a priority or cared for myself. It was also no surprise that I began thinking about what my life might be like if mum passed away and I no longer had the responsibility to put her needs first.
I felt so ashamed and divided. How could thoughts of freedom take up the same space as a great gratitude that I had the gift of being her carer? My mum was my closest friend, but sometimes she also felt like a heavy weight to be carried.
Where would I be welcome and who could I talk to about these things? I needed to separate the feelings of being burdened from the truth of the situation, which was that I felt privileged to be there for her.
Things changed
Just before I turned 40, she passed away. When it happened, it was sudden, unexpected, and utterly devastating. My whole identity and life were structured around her care. I was lost, like a boat without a rudder. I was overwhelmed with grief and found no safe harbour after the first few months had passed.
Thus began a journey of acceptance, healing and self-discovery, acknowledging my pain, peeling back the layers of shame and saying the things I was scared to admit out loud. I discovered that people resonated with the stories I shared and the feelings I experienced. They wanted to begin their journey, but I wasn’t equipped to support them well.
That led to my decision to begin studying counselling. Surprisingly, I realised I already had the foundational skills and was using them. I just needed some structure so I could help others safely and ethically.
how it’s going…
I believe we all should get the chance to explore our feelings and history and determine for ourselves what we would like our life to look like. I am glad to have the opportunity to walk beside others and support them in their journey.
If you believe I could help you, I would happily book a confidential counselling session to begin your journey.
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