We’ve seen the movie, heard the song, and all been told to let it go. If you are anything like me, you may have (guilty as charged) told someone else they should let it go. If you have managed to get this far in life without experiencing this, my hat is off to you!
“Let it go” is a metaphor that has become part of our common vernacular. There are times when it is sound advice, like when a small inconvenience or event is causing stress. This should be internal advice, something we can tell ourselves. Not something we tell others.
I have realised with much reflection that I cannot judge how impactful something is to someone else. Often people hide the true depths of how things affect them. Suggesting someone let something go can be tantamount to telling them to shut up.
I have also been pondering in this era of me too how much power we are taking away from victims. How much of this power are we passing to the abusers and bullies of this world? How much of the shame people feel about their treatment and why they can’t speak up are we contributing to? This is probably even more so when we tell ourselves; It’s not that bad. I don’t really have anything to complain about. What we are really asking is for an abused person to relinquish their rage. Do we really have the right to do so?
Letting something go comes at the end of the process of healing
If it ever happens. It comes after telling your story, after vulnerability, after forgiveness, and after the brokenness is repaired. Brokenness is never completely gone (just changed) and certainly never forgotten. Sometimes letting it go never actually happens.
Let it go is a metaphor we can use flippantly. It’s like saying, get over being angry; it will only hurt you in the long run. We don’t need to hear about this again, do we? Why can’t you forgive them? and a host of other seemingly innocuous phrases. But what if we looked deeper? Are these things as innocent as we tell ourselves, or are we being positivity powerhouses? People who are not willing to hear real pain in others.
I personally feel like it’s time to ‘let this one go’. Time to make a pact with myself not to use it and be aware that it is serving my best interest, not that of the other person. To not let it block real and open communication with others. What a beautiful place to be where we can be vulnerable with each other and know we will not be shut down.