Our minds give us physiological reactions to stimuli (or physical reactions to thought). This is easily shown with the ‘lemon’ example. All you need to do is picture a lemon. Imagine getting a knife and slicing it into wedges. Think about the little bits of zesty juice squirting out. Imagine picking up one of those wedges, juice running down your hand, then picture biting into that wedge, the tart, tangy lemon juice filling your mouth and running down your throat. – Did that make your saliva kick off? I know mine did just by writing that.
We can begin to change our state by making some changes to the way we think and talk. The reaction to the lemon is quite evident and noticeable. Still, our physiological responses to stimuli are often much more subtle, and the changes can be missed because they happen slowly.
Do you ever think, “I wasn’t like this before? What happened?” This can affect all of us. The collection of things we choose to do, watch, and focus on, the people we spend time with and the things we think and say all have a compounding effect on us over time.
I know that the journey I have been going on for the last few years has had me finding myself again. Not becoming a new person, but finding ME under the layers of belief and behaviour built up over a lifetime of things happening to me. As things come up, I don’t follow a predetermined course. Instead, I roll with whatever feels like the best way to react.
The good news is that there is an opportunity for change if you find yourself in a place you are not happy with. The first part is assessing what you are doing (much of which will be a habit). Like what do you watch on Netflix or TV? What are you looking at with regularity on your computer or phone? Who are you spending a lot of time with? What are your habitual thought patterns and behaviours?
This may not be a quick fix. I have been on this path for four years, and I have changed a lot by choosing one focus area.
First, I went back into the workplace after being a carer for about ten years; then, it was getting rid of clutter, then practising saying no. I stopped doing things I didn’t feel were suitable for me, then allowed myself to try something new and start learning (I chose to stop telling myself I wasn’t smart or good enough to learn). I let myself speak up and begin sharing my story and encouraging others. Right now, I am learning to say yes, but only to what I want.
These days I try to give myself 90 seconds. If something upsetting happens, I give myself that little space to choose. How will I react? Then I make the changes. Choose my thoughts and decide what I am doing with my body. I move into how I want to be instead of how I am.
So don’t try to change it all at once. Pick something small and do that consistently. If I were to suggest a starting point for anyone, it would be to take note of your posture and how you carry yourself. Head up, shoulder blades squeezed together (gently) and walk tall. Because going back to how you think, changing your physiology changes your feelings. So standing like you matter will make you feel good inside; it will help with confidence and feeling like you can change what you want.
Change your thinking and physiology, and you will begin to change how you feel. I know I have.