Now that the new year hubbub has passed and the resolution memes have disappeared from our timelines, what’s left? Has the possibility of change been left in the dust? Will we hear the message not to be afraid?
When it comes to the art of resolution, there are two obvious choices and outcomes…
- Go for it, make the resolution, try to hang in there and then feel bad if you don’t make it.
- Don’t make any resolutions. Avoid the feeling of failure if you don’t achieve what you were aiming for.
I have tended in the past to fall into the second category, better to avoid the pain. There is another way to look at this. Go for it, make the resolution, hang in there, and if you don’t make it, be happy, as you are one step closer to a win!
There are multitudes of stories of people failing their way to success. Just google it. For example, Sir James Dyson had 5126 failed prototypes before his best-selling bagless vac. And as Brene Brown put it, “Failure can become our most powerful path to learning if we’re willing to choose courage over comfort.”
Failure is an integral part of living. It’s how we do our best learning. Because of the potential growth from failure, big or small, when we achieve success, we are better able to cope with that success and all the complications that come along with it.
In the meantime, there are ways to help us reduce the chances of failing and be less afraid to chase our goals.
Consider these ideas
- Prepare. If you want to make a change, put some framework in place to give you your best chance at success. If you want to lose weight, for example, have a plan. How often will you exercise? Organise a buddy to walk with, get your gym membership set up, and have a meal plan ready. Identify the things you want to do that will make your journey smoother.
- Don’t try and force the change to start on a Monday or on the first day of a month. Let it happen naturally, make your decision, do the prep and then don’t hesitate, even if it’s a Thursday.
- Journal the ride! Take a note daily (in whatever format you like). When you feel like you aren’t achieving, you can look back at your previous wins and losses and encourage yourself to keep going.
- Don’t decide on Dec 31st or Jan 1st to make a resolution. If you are a person who loves a good NY resolution, start early in December. Get everything in place so you can hit the ground running in the new year.
- Don’t be afraid to find someone to cheer you on so that you can be accountable. Someone to do the resolution with or who can just watch over you. Accountability is an amazing influencer.
- Lastly, and I think most importantly, know your why. It might sound a little cliché, but it is vital to have good reasons which help you to soldier on through the adversity which will block your path. Finding your real why can take a little digging. You may need to go through an ask-and-answer process with yourself to get to it, but it is there.
Don’t be afraid! Step out and take some risks. Build up your emotional strength. Take some failure in addition to some wins you would never have experienced if you hadn’t tried.
As a counsellor, I am privileged to help with accountability and tools to help you move forward. Feel free to reach out today.