I have a lot on my plate, none of which I want to drop. It has been increasingly more challenging to decide how to use my time each day to get the outcome I want, being confident I have achieved something.
As I sit here and think about how my parents managed their time. I cannot remember seeing either of them sit down and make a plan or even a list (except maybe the shopping list 📃 – Mum always used one). There was no family discussion about goals or where we wanted to be in the future—more just a sense of getting through today alive.
Because of this, I have never been sure where I got my great love for to-do lists, but it’s there. It feels great to make a list (Look how organised I am!) It gives me warm fuzzies when I can tick things off, and sometimes I even add something I have already done to my list to make the tick and acknowledge that I am a champion! (Is anyone else guilty of this, or is it just me?)
Getting busier, I have noticed that I am ticking boxes but not making much progress, so I have been practising a new way to tackle my days, weeks, months, and years.
That is outcome planning.
It’s more time-consuming at the beginning than list writing, but it takes me forward in a way that list writing wasn’t. Instead of asking, ‘What do I need to do?’ the question becomes ‘What outcome do I want?’
An example of this is my Saturday housework list.
- Strip beds
- Collect dirty washing
- Wash washing
- Put clean washing away
- Remake beds
- Clean the bathroom/ toilet
But…
What happens if someone drops a flour container on the floor? What if it rains all weekend and the washing doesn’t dry? The list gets increasingly unachievable, and things don’t get ticked off. The weekend ends, and I feel like I didn’t achieve what I wanted.
What if I viewed the weekend differently and asked what outcome I wanted? The answer to that for me would have to be: Have a clean and functional home that serves the needs of everyone who lives there. The next step is to ask why I want this outcome. If I know why, and it’s a strong enough reason, I will always find a way to get the desired result. Often with a different idea than I would have come up with from list writing.
I can easily adjust my actions to get the outcome when something doesn’t go to plan. If it’s raining now, I can leave the washing until it’s clear and make sure it is neatly contained. What if someone makes a spill? I can divert, clean it up, and make it no big deal if my outcome is for the clean home to serve the needs of everyone who lives there. How does it help anyone having no time or getting grumpy because someone made a mess?
The other thing I have learned to consider when it comes to a list is that it is MY list. That implies the items on it are for me to do if I want them done in a particular way. Outcome focus changes that too. Now I can find other ways to get the outcome.
- Delegating a job to the kids
- Asking for help from outside my home
- Find a different way to approach the task
- Adjust the timeline of my aim
Getting back to my parents…
I now realise they were outcome-focused. Sure, they never put the power behind it by writing it down. They didn’t question if they could aim for other outcomes, but they were. Mum was very clear about the work she wanted; she spoke of it often. It was to live long enough to see some grandkids and raise me to be as independent as possible so I could look out for my siblings if she didn’t make it.
She found many different and varied ways of achieving her outcomes and hit the mark on both. Mum had six grandchildren when she passed away, and as for my independence, I am nothing if not committed 🤪. I have been fiercely independent, often to my detriment and have had to work hard to learn how to be interdependent. I didn’t know there was another step after independence … but that’s a story for another day.
The lesson for me is that I don’t need a list for everything. That lists are just a tool that cannot replace knowing what I want, focusing on it and understanding that the way to get there will become more apparent.